Relationships: 10 Communication Differences Between Men and Women

Men and women do communicate differently since they’ve grown up behaving in different ways. Girls use conversation and telling secrets as a way to build close relationships, while boys engage in physical activity and have more hierarchal relationships. For men, talk means status and when they have to listen to women, they may feel they have a diminished status. Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. says in her groundbreaking book, You Just Don’t Understand, “When women tell men, ‘You aren’t listening,’ and the men protest, ‘I am,’ the men are right. The impression of not listening results from misalignments in the mechanics of conversation

Men and women are wired differently. Women’s brains are better at verbal duties while men’s brains perform better on visual-spatial and mathematical exercises. It’s no surprise that women prefer to talk and men would rather do something than say something. According to Deborah Tannen, in relationships women want to have rapport-talk while men want report-talk

According to Melissa Dittman Tracey, women’s brains love details, are constantly active, and they can multitask. Men just want the facts, while women focus on relationship-building

In fact, here are 10 ways how men and women are different in conversation

1. Jumping topics – Women stay focused on one topic, while men jump from topic to topic

2. Body language – Women face each other while men talk to each other at angles and look in other places in the room and even sometimes at their conversation partner

3. Problem solving – Women want to establish rapport with the other person, while men want to fix the problem

4. Apologies – Women apologize more, hoping to create or sustain connections. Men don’t like giving apologies since they view them as a loss of face

5. Verbal fillers – Women use “mhm,” “uhuh,” and “go on,” as a way of connecting with others, while men are more likely to stay silent

Lab Critique Illustration Biolog

6. Speaking in front of others – Men want to give their opinion and advice; women don’t want to express themselves so openly in a group since a woman is thinking about what her peers think of her opinion

7. Negotiation – Women prefer discussion, their goal being consensus, while men favor more direct communication and want speedy results

8. Chatterbox – Surprisingly in the long run men and women talk about the same amount. The differences are in the subject and goals of the discussions. Women talk more to family and close friends, exchanging support and experiences, while men exchange information whether at work or in formal or social situations

9. Interrupting – Women interrupt to demonstrate concern. Men interrupt to try to control the conversation

10. E-mail – Women send e-mail regarding relationships; men may be seeking information, influence and respect

Women need to know that a lack of communication on a man’s part has more to do with their different wiring and how they grew up, not because of a lack of affection. Men tend to express themselves better through actions more than words. By the same token men need to understand that women express themselves through verbal communication. A deeper and more empathetic understanding of how men and women express themselves can lead to a greater understanding between the sexes


Source by Nancy Travers

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